Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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