he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
