i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
