So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
