i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
