Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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