I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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