dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
