Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
