My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
babies were throwing up all over the place
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It's official drugs can't kill me
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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