This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
i think my cat just said my name.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
