i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
