is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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