Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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