I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
