He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
