I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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