We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
