as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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