All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
