I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
