Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
