Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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