Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
