apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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