She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
