I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
