I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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