yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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