Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
