White coat. Heels.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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