i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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