1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
