i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
