Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Randomize
