His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
