u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
