I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I can text with my tongue
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
