He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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