Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
