is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
