i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
