i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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