Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
