im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
