She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
