what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
