your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
