you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
