its not stalking. its research.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
