They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
