Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
