I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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